What Ego?

PICTURE OF WONDER WOMAN BY Terry Dodson -comic creator

I wanted to touch base on what having too much pride might do to a person or the lack of self confidence and defiance can do. These two characteristic behaviors can take a turn for the worse.

For instance, my first blog post had a lot of grammatical errors; even some errors that I noticed and was wondering why didn't I draft it first and then re-wrote it a couple of times. I know it's because I was impulsive and had a lot on my mind that I wanted to get out. Anyway, being that I aspire to become a professional writer I should be more cautious about how I present my skills.

Anyhow, I have never been shy to have someone read my work and give me constructive criticism. However, whenever it's someone I'm rather close to giving me constructive criticism, quietly inside I'm filled with such an embarrassment that makes me want to blurt out really bad things. (Sort of, what a 10 year old might do) Simply because my pride was hurt, big time.

To know and to admit this to myself, deep down, is to take full responsibility of my inner emotions and not to blame the person who was doing the critiquing. Then I can assess that my pride was hurt because of my lack of confidence in my writing as well as my intellect. The constructive criticism that I received was not meant to downplay my talent and my intellect if anything it was to further my skills with the attention that I need to polish up my writing. I did not let my foolhardy pride and my Ego get the best of me. Therefore, I signed up for a class in How to Improve my writing. It is a non-credit class that will focus on grammar, punctuation, and organization.

Had I let my pride and ego get the best of me, I would have not tried to feed my talent with the basic essentials and most likely become afraid to show that person anymore of my work.

The point I'm trying to make here is, we never give ourselves room enough to be human. With the everyday grind of Today's world and the feats that we accomplish probably makes us feel superhuman; by the end of the day we are too invincible to be plagued by mistakes.

When you are able to be honest with yourself and realize that your Ego has gotten the best of you. Try to let it go, don't be so hard on yourself for being egotistic and rectify the situation. Only then you will find yourself on your way to becoming SUPERHUMAN.

Panic Disorder part I

Hi Everyone,

This is my first blog post so please be gentle.

Let me start off by talking about the one thing that has been inflicting me for over 12 years...PANIC DISORDER. (wrote it in caps cause it freaks me out, j/k) Okay, in all seriousness panic disorder is pretty scary the first couple of times and then it just becomes this monster in your closet that is just waiting for mommy and daddy to leave the room and turn-off the night-light.

In the fall of 1998, I was in college taking a Cultural Anthropology class. The night before, I went to bed late; I was extremely sleepy the next morning. While in class,I found myself slowly nodding off while the teacher was talking. All of sudden, I shot up out of my chair. It felt like I had an outer body experience and my soul just plummeted into my body. My heart started pounding hard and fast, my palms were cold and sweaty. Chills went up and down my spine and breathing was becoming a hard task for me. I headed outside for some fresh air. Still I could not catch my breath; it felt like I had pins and needles all over my hands and feet. Luckily, one of my classmates (who didn't even know me) ran after me to see if I was okay. She helped me get to the nurses office. (Strangely I could never find her after that to Thank her)

At the nurses office, the ambulance come; one of the paramedics puts an oxygen mask on me. Meanwhile, the other one yells out "are you crazy, you can't give her more oxygen. she's hyperventilating, you'll kill her!!!" (I so did not need to hear that. LOL I'm laughing about it now but at the time it increased my anxiety)They rushed me to the hospital; the immediate family comes over worried and all. The doctor comes in to see me and says, "Oh you just had a panic attack." I'm thinking, wtf is a panic attack?

Whatever explanation or diagnoses the doctor gave it never set in with me. I was still left with the questions: what is a panic attack? how does it happen? why does it happen? should i start praying for a miracle or get on some fad diet plan that will help me beat whatever this thing is? And I was also left with the fear of, it'll happen again and it'll kill me.

My life went downhill from there.

...to be continued