Hi Everyone,
This is my first blog post so please be gentle.
Let me start off by talking about the one thing that has been inflicting me for over 12 years...PANIC DISORDER. (wrote it in caps cause it freaks me out, j/k) Okay, in all seriousness panic disorder is pretty scary the first couple of times and then it just becomes this monster in your closet that is just waiting for mommy and daddy to leave the room and turn-off the night-light.
In the fall of 1998, I was in college taking a Cultural Anthropology class. The night before, I went to bed late; I was extremely sleepy the next morning. While in class,I found myself slowly nodding off while the teacher was talking. All of sudden, I shot up out of my chair. It felt like I had an outer body experience and my soul just plummeted into my body. My heart started pounding hard and fast, my palms were cold and sweaty. Chills went up and down my spine and breathing was becoming a hard task for me. I headed outside for some fresh air. Still I could not catch my breath; it felt like I had pins and needles all over my hands and feet. Luckily, one of my classmates (who didn't even know me) ran after me to see if I was okay. She helped me get to the nurses office. (Strangely I could never find her after that to Thank her)
At the nurses office, the ambulance come; one of the paramedics puts an oxygen mask on me. Meanwhile, the other one yells out "are you crazy, you can't give her more oxygen. she's hyperventilating, you'll kill her!!!" (I so did not need to hear that. LOL I'm laughing about it now but at the time it increased my anxiety)They rushed me to the hospital; the immediate family comes over worried and all. The doctor comes in to see me and says, "Oh you just had a panic attack." I'm thinking, wtf is a panic attack?
Whatever explanation or diagnoses the doctor gave it never set in with me. I was still left with the questions: what is a panic attack? how does it happen? why does it happen? should i start praying for a miracle or get on some fad diet plan that will help me beat whatever this thing is? And I was also left with the fear of, it'll happen again and it'll kill me.
My life went downhill from there.
...to be continued
